So you're sick and tired of not having anyone to go out with. Poor baby, get over it. Ah, but you can't. Believe me, I know the feeling. The club scene and blind date routine are a big waste of time and you're simply going to go nuts if you spend one more Saturday night alone. So now you're gung-ho about beginning your mission to find the person of your dreams, whether it's your Prince Charming or your little Cinderella, whichever applies to your particular situation. (Maybe both. Who knows, I'm not here to judge.)

Women, maybe you're saying to yourselves, "I've been waiting so long for my fairy tale romance to begin. I'm so tired of being alone; I want someone to share my life with. I'm at the point in my life where I'm asking myself, "Why do laundry for one when I can do it for two just as easy? And it's just a waste of time cleaning up my small clutter, so if I'm going to clean at all, I might as well clean the mess of two people to make it worth my while. God knows I'm getting tired of talking to myself all the time, I would much rather have a man around to nag and control. And why have that big of bed to sleep in alone when I can rock myself to sleep by the vibration of my soul mate's snoring. Now where's that marriage license bureau?"

Guys might be saying, "Gee, I don't want to be a lonely old man, I want someone to grow old with, too. I'm tired of coming home to a quiet, peaceful home. I can't wait to be greeted at the door with a list of things that need to be finished before I sit down at the dinner table. And look at all that money I'll save by not going to all the baseball, football and basketball games. (Okay, and all those terrific wet T-shirt contests) I won't even have to succumb to all that secondhand smoke at those all-night poker games. And why spend all that time going on those silly fishing and camping trips when I can be home enjoying the yard I just mowed. My life is here with my sweetheart forever."

So, you're probably wondering, what can you do to triple the chances of making your storybook romance come true? Well, you need to do what every other hungry, red-blooded single human is doing, right? What is it? Internet dating, of course. There's no other choice left but to subscribe to a great matchmaker service today. Where do I sign?

Even if you're already doing it (Internet dating, you sex maniacs!), you can probably use some fine-tuning on writing better ads or posting more appropriate photos.

When I first started Internet dating, there weren't many sites to choose from. Well, either that, or my computer ignorance prevented me from finding them. Today there are matchmaker sites for every human characteristic imaginable. And I mean everything! After finding the appropriate site that's for you, with all the lists of goodies to choose from, it's like going into a restaurant and placing your very own specific order.