So now you know what's out there. You finally decide on a particular Web site (or change from one you were currently using) and you make the decision of a lifetime to join. (Note: There are numerous sites that offer a short free trial period so you can become familiar with their site before joining. Plus the majority of sites allow you to browse for free.) That's great, so now what? Do you place an advertisement hawking your wares or should you just respond to those people who have already placed a personal ad?

Based on my research, I've found that most people play it safe at first when Internet dating. They post an ad, sit back and wait for the responses to start filtering in. Not me. I believe in being on the offense and the defense simultaneously.

But I know so many women who would never respond to a guy's ad. It's the same thing as not approaching a guy in person. Why not, I would ask? "Well, if they're interested in me, they will approach me." Some women feel the same way about answering guys' ads. They feel like they are chasing the guy and it's not a lady-like thing to do. I assure you that is antiquated thinking.

Many guys are unable to read the "signals" a girl sends that say, "I'm curious about you. (And, "Will you buy me a drink?") Guys can be shy too, you know. Are there any laws stating that the men have to be the ones making the first move? They have enough pressure on them already, don't you think? Or should we ladies just set them up so they can experience a higher risk of rejection? I don't think so.

If you're still hesitant, put your ad up first and let them chase you. After a while, if you're not getting the results you want, start answering their ads. Keep in mind the "good offense is a good defense" slogan. There is no right or wrong approach, this is a two way street by my experience.

You may get tips on a new restaurant in town, or learn about a new tennis club to join, or find out about a great museum. Think of each outing as a good experience. If, with all the positivity you can muster, you still feel it was a bad experience, turn it into a funny story to tell your buds at your next party. Plus, it's comforting to know that the other person is struggling to meet people as well, and that you're not alone here.

Finally, both responding and answering ads can only double your chances of going out. It's kind of like being bisexual, waaaaay more opportunities!

TIPS

The best way to find the different matchmaker sites is to type in "Internet dating," "matchmaker sites," or "online dating" in the search engines.

A number of sites have a short free trial service. If you are unsure which service to use, check out the freebies first. If you're feeling lucky, then you can sign up for a month membership.

By both posting an ad and answering ads, you increase your chances of getting responses.

If you're hesitant about your first attempt, invite a few friends over and make a party out of it. (However, if you start fighting over the same ads at your party, you may want to try it solo for a while!)